We moved to the country and all was what a dysfunctional family would consider normal. How does a dysfunctional family even know what normal resembles. The norm seems abnormal to them. We went through our days, my siblings doing what they did. Shelli was never really around and Heath was gone too but not as much. He and I became very close. He just kept watching the daily beatings that Shelli and Pa would do to me but he had no idea how to stop it and I know he didn't. My Pa was a man to fear.
My Ma though seemed to be learning from Pa. When she became upset with me she ordered me to get a switch from one of the trees, bring it to her so she could use it on me. Now, how dumb can one child be? Patches does just this though. She also favored the yard sticks which seemed to be abundant.
But after a bath one night I had no clothes to put on. So I yelled down to my Ma for some pajama's and she kept telling me to shut up. Not knowing what to do I kept bothering her. No way could I put on my day clothes to go to bed. That would for sure cause chaos. So, I kept trying to get her attention. It's my own fault what happens next. She really got tired of me yelling and told my Pa to come shut me up.
Well he brought with him the belt.... I learned what they call that thing with a hard end on it. Being that I was totally unclothed didn't help and my Pa had no target area. So, needless to say, there were welts ALL over my body. He finished the order and went back downstairs like it was a normal event and truly it was. But this time it was bad. Blood was seeping out of several welts and the black and blue marks came quicker then most other times. I never got my pajama's, I just went to bed curled in a fetal position and cried for hours until I eventually fell asleep.
Come morning I did all I could to cover my body so nobody at school could see my marks. I was hurting for sure but I made it to school, never said a word. Didn't want to talk to anybody as usual and hated the thought of returning to what everybody kept calling home.
When I did get home my Ma was there and she had something available to eat. I had to eat before my Pa got home to avoid conflict. Many times he would yell that I was eating this or eating that and to my Ma's favor she told him a few times, "this kid needs to eat." But I would try very hard to eat when he wasn't there. But, my Ma asked me to get something for her and as I did my shirt rose a bit exposing my back some what. She saw a bit of it and called me over to her. Lifted my shirt and asked me, "What happened?" Wow, I thought. Is she really asking me this question. I did reply with, " You know exactly what happened, you told him to do it." And she replied she didn't tell him to do this.
I think it was at this point I was done. Done being beaten. Not sure how I was going to stop it, but I did know I was done. Yes, I healed from this beating and received several more before I got the courage to stand up to my parents. The ones I chose they say should this be correct. I am still though so confused as to why or how I do not feel hate in my heart for any of them. The love I carry inside was there and just waiting and wanting to explode. It is hard to show love when hate is all that you receive. But the bigger question and usually one that never has an answer is the BIG BIG "WHY..." Regardless to the answer of why Patches takes a stand...................
Love "Patches"
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