A Girl Named Patches... Part Three

It didn't take to long to realize that there was something different about my Pa. He seemed to get really mad and about things that, well didn't seem like it should be that critical. Of course that's me looking back. At the time I thought everything I was doing was wrong. Well, he didn't hold back from telling me either. 

At this very early age I was being trained to fail. I am sure my Pa meant well and thought maybe he was using tough love or something as they call it. Hmmm, wait, it was tough love. My Pa would say, how I will never amount to anything and that I was good for nothing. At the age of five I didn't quite understand what all that meant. But, it made me feel bad so that told me it wasn't good. I soooo wanted my Pa to like me. There were so many times I wanted to say,"I love you", but those words just couldn't come out once I saw him eye to eye. He had such a fierce look to him. Pa was raised as Amish and well in his defense they did not spare the rod. And, there were a lot of things done differently from the rest of society. So maybe just maybe that was what was going on with him. Although, the strangest thing was he never treated my Sister or Brother the same as he did me. So, this was very confusing.

There was a great fear of my Pa for me, cause I just knew he did not favor me in any way.

One day there was something going on about somebody being shot. From my Ma and Pa's reaction it was somebody very important. Late in the night as all of us kids were sleeping I could hear my Ma calling to my sister, "Shelli, do you want to go to Pennsylvania with your father?" And I heard her reply, "No". Then I heard my Ma yell for my brother. "Heath, do you want to go to Pennsylvania with your father?" And his replay was, "No". I remember laying there and somewhat feeling left out but yet glad because I knew he didn't want me to go with him anyways. Just as I was closing my eyes I heard my mom yell, " Patches, do you want to go to Pennsylvania with your father?" I was stunned that I even got the question but followed suite and replied, "No". My no did not seem to hold as much weight as the others. I was ordered to get up that I was going with him. 

It was a cold and snowing this night. And as my Ma quickly put a suitcase together for me, I had no winter coat to speak of. So she put Shelli's on me. A big red one with white around the cuffs and the hood. It was so warm. Shelli had no idea I was wearing it as she was still in bed.

We drove for what seemed like hours and hours in the dark. Cold and windy. Snowing badly. Then finally we arrive at my grandparents house. Still very dark out, my Pa goes to the door and knocks. But, who would be knocking at anybody's door this hour of the night. I remember grandma looking out the window to see who it was before letting us in. 

Ahhhhhhhhhh, finally we are in and my grandma takes me and tucks me in bed. A very very big bed. Soooo many blankets. And the bathroom was, well in a bucket of some sort hidden in the closet. It was good with me. It was so warm in the bed. 

Not sure how long everybody stayed up to, but when daylight came, it seems we were all up at the same time. Being from the Amish background and humble living the first thing they all did was take their bibles outside on the porch and take turns reading a verse and singing hymns galore. The whole family could carry a tune. I felt pretty good out there with this big warm red coat I was wearing and my Aunt gave me a bible to hold. I couldn't read real well at that time. I was still five. 

All was going well I thought. And I thought the trip might be ok. Pa, was reading and singing. Everybody seemed to be having a good time. But, something strange suddenly happened. My Pa, grabbed my arm and threw me inside the house. He pushed everybody else back away from the door while he locked everybody out and then grabbed my arm again and took me upstairs. Sat me on a bed and began reading a verse from the bible to me. Sure wish I knew what that verse was today but, well I can't remember. 

This whole time my Aunt was trying to find a way to get into the house. Knocking on the door and calling for my Pa. It must have upset him a bit because he grabbed me by the arm again and pushed me down the big staircase and into the kitchen. Took his white shirt off and wrapped it around my head and then put my head in a a sink full of hot water and held me there for some time. Then he switched and lifted my head from the hot water and put my head in the next sink full of cold water. Ohhh I had no idea what was going on here and never screamed of even had time to think of crying. It was like I was a rag doll being tossed everywhere. 

My poor Aunt was still outside as everybody else was too and she finally was trying to get a window open to get in that way. Well, Pa, did not like this at all. He left me and long enough for me to get this shirt off my head and I remember standing back watching him as he totally destroyed the stair banister with one hand. Just tore it to pieces. Then went to the window where my Aunt was trying to get in and pushed her away and locked it. It didn't seem like there was going to be any end in sight here. 

As I stood quietly now in the living room, for whatever reason Pa opened the front door and walked outside down a big hill and to the driveway where this white truck was. There was several men there with some white jacket for him as I stood at the door watching. He did not struggle with these men at all which seemed rather odd to me after all he had done. 

After the men got him in the jacket and into the truck, one man looked up at the door and I heard him yell to the others. "Who is that little girl?" Nobody was around outside any more and the men got into the truck and left. At this point I had passed out. A very big void in time took place. 

"Love Patches"