Where are we now? It's 1973.
Ma was working and has been at a local factory. She spent most of our childhood at home. I remember the day she broke down crying and telling Pa she had to get out of the house it was driving her crazy. Her days at the house was cooking, cleaning, ironing. These are things I remember always seeing her doing. And, well I was there with her during most of these times. My Ma and me sure had our moments and has I was getting older I was getting more rebellious. But with her when it was good it was and when it was bad it was. Just you didn't know when it would turn from one or the other. Seemed to happen pretty fast and catch you off guard every single time. What I remember best about Ma was she sure had cooking and baking down to an art. She knew just when that yeast was lukewarm and her pastries always came out golden brown. I learned that cooking and baking were two different arts and while she was teaching me both I still struggle with her picture perfect baking. My Ma was a straight forward woman with no tact involved. If she thought it she said it and if it hurt you, oh well. Her words were potent and she knew it and she prided herself with it. But, she was also a broken hearted woman as her family abandoned her for marrying outside her religion. She was Roman Catholic and back in the 50's and perhaps even now, I don't know but marrying outside of the religion was greatly frowned upon. Her father removed her totally from the family will and the closeness that most families might or should have didn't happen for my mom. So, I saw her as lost and broken hearted and in many ways. Her husband was an alcoholic and clearly had an anger management issue. She spoke of divorce many times but I think she feared what would happen if she did and where would she go. She didn't have a driver's license and no education. One thing about both my parents though they were never afraid of work. Both worked very hard and taught all of us kids top quality work ethics. That's in brief my Mama.
Heath would be having some troubles of his own. He has taken to extra curriculum activities like breaking and entering. He seemed to give the alcohol a try and well he liked it just as much as Pa did. His temper was bad when he was mad and he would grow into thinking somebody was always after him and that I knew who since he and I were very close. My brother though was my best friend. He saw all through the years what was going on and later would step in to make a major change in my life that would last forever. I love my brother.
Shelli was not usually around. Not real sure where she was or what she was doing and whatever it was I was not a part of her life. I would welcome her non- existence though as my arms were healing for every day she was gone. I longed for a sister relationship with her but that was not meant to be. I wasn't good enough to fit into her world. Well not until there was nobody else. That will come later.
Pa was working in the steel mill and worked hard. I remember in the summer he would get home and go directly to that garden and pull a frigging weed. He did pride himself in his gardening and I must say he should. It was a good acre that he maintained and all by hand. Every vegetable was planted and maintained until harvest. He could sing too. I remember him singing up a storm and that could be because of his background and singing out on that porch. I suspect they were out there every day not just one. Religion seemed to be a very very important element in his life and I honestly feel this is a good thing. But to much of a good thing can be bad and well for Pa it would take it's toll on him as he took every word from the bible to the fullest and manifested it until it had a heart beat all it's own. His feelings for me would continue as usual though and although I longed for his love and acceptance I was never going to get it and a time came when I would pray he would die and feared one day if he didn't one of us was going to by each other's hand. I can't say I ever hated him or do even now. But he gets a six month sentence..........................
Love "Patches"
